*****Frivolous Model United Nations February 14, 1998******-- Results Recorded by Gretchen Haupt, Notre Dame Class of 2000
Resolution NS(non-sense)/1 Optimistic Pope
The motion to give voting rights to Vatican City and Pope Anthony II, and to make all other UN delegates Cardinals was passed.
Resolution NS/2 Igphay Atinlhay
Hethay otionmhay otha akemah hethay officialhay anguagelhay ofhay allhay ittenwrhay ocumentsdhay Igphay Atinlhay ailedfhay. (The motion to make the official language of all written UN documents Pig Latin failed.)
Resolution NS/3 Musical Chairs and Moderators
After much deliberation, two official UN theme songs were chosen. It was decided that the opening song would be " Its the End of the World as We Know it," by R.E.M. and the closing song, "What a Wonderful World," by Louis Armstrong.
Resolution NS/4 Brain Power
The motion to elect the former Animaniacs cartoon character The Brain as official UN mascot and his associate Pinky as PR was passed.
Resolution NS/5 Pungent Postage
The motion to make international postage "scratch-and-sniff," was passed.
Resolution NS/6 MUN Wrestling!
The motion to solve all political disagreements in the UN by wrestling matches was passed. The matches would be refereed by a neutral third party or the Pope. (This to be decided at the time)
Resolution NS/7 What a motto with you?
The motion to make the official UN motto: :"Its not the size of your placard that counts, its how long you can keep it up" passed. T-shirts will be available soon.
Resolution NS/8 Death by Spork?
The motion to make bludgeoning with a butter knife a suitable death sentence failed. Other suggestions were; full body papercuts, spit ball firing squad, and being locked in a room and forced to listen too Michael Bolton. (the last suggestion was deemed cruel and unusual punishment)
Resolution NS/9 Watch out for the Penguins...
The motion to declare Antarctica an empire and appoint a penguin as its political and religious leader passed. The national anthem will be, "Dooby dooby doooo..."
Resolution NS/10 Heart Attack
The motion to change to official organ of Valentines Day from the heart to the hypothalamus passed. The change was called for due to the fact that the hypothalamus is where the "happy hormones" are produced.
Resolution NS/11 Billy Boys Big Mac Munch
The motion to have Bill Clinton challenge his opponents to a Big Mac eating contest failed. This was mainly because the outcome of every match would be painfully obvious.
Resolution NS/12 12 Steps
The motion to have Bill Clinton admitted to a mental health facility to be treated sexaholism for 30 days was passed. Saddam Hussein will be accompanying him to be treated for a Hitler complex. They will be located in separate parts of the building which will be located in the newly formed Penguin Empire. Clintons treatment will consist of 30 days in a locked room with Richard Simmons. If that doesnt curve his libido, nothing will. Saddam will be given a daily regimen of anti-depressants as well as numerous happy face stickers..
Resolution NS/13 New Extremes
The motion to hold the Winter Olympics in a tropical site, and the Summer Olympics in a frigid one passed. Soccer and slalom expected to be interesting.
Resolution NS/14 Boys Should be Boys
The motion to give Hanson, Yanni, and Steven Tyler a haircut passed.